


Hayseed Fever

by Missy



Category: Futurama
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, F/M, Humor, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 08:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leela tries to get some R&R during a delivery - but ends up trying to seduce a very confused Fry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hayseed Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Trope Bingo: Prompt: Sex Pollen.

“And then I squirted the mayo down the Mayor’s back, ‘cause I like alliteration.” 

Leela groans and rubs her forehead. She loves Fry and…tolerates Bender, but sometimes she yearns for a tiny slice of peace and quiet whenever they travelled so far from home. She vows to herself that at the very next offramp she sees she’s going to stretch her legs, find something good to eat, and possibly ditch the boys for a little while.

When the ship skids to a stop on the surface of the planet Piccolos, Leela’s more than ready to put her little plan into motion. Six hours in a floating tin can is more than long enough for her to have to endure Bender’s endless singing and Fry’s endless questions – she decides to extract six hours more of free time out of the bargain in response.

While the boys handle the delivery for her, Leela takes the opportunity to sneak away from the ship and into one of the many open pastures surrounding the landing strip they’d disembarked onto. She rushed into the long grass, kicking off her boots and sprawling herself out under the planet’s several suns.

“Hmmm,” she muttered to herself. “Crabbiness dissipating; tense jaw unclenching. Sensation of general anger easing off into a sense of comfortable but wary joy .” Then she grinned at the temptingly sweet sensation melting through her body. “I feel good.” A giggle bubbled its way up out of her chest. “Really good.”

The happy, floaty feeling racing through her body as she sat down beside the toadstool made her close her eyes and spread out her arms, weaving them through the incredibly long grass that had grown over her head. The scents of clover and lemon invaded her nostrils and soothed her, leaving her to sigh and hum against the breeze.

Fry found her there, still giggling as she made grass angels, a few moments later.

He approached with caution, trying not to startle her with any sudden motions. “Leela?” Fry ventured.

“Whee!” Leela cried happily.

That was quite the unusual response. “Uh, you look really happy…way happier than usual…” He sat awkwardly down beside her and tucked his chin against his knee.

“Uh-huh,” she grinned. Then she levered herself onto her right elbow. “Y’know, Fry, we’re all alone and Bender’s all the way inside of that barn…”

“Did you want me to get him…GAH!” He found himself thrown onto his back and tackled by a grinning Leela wearing a predatory smile. “Leela!” he cried out.

“Get comfortable,” she instructed, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s going to be a long. Bumpy. Afternoon.”

**

Further up the hill, Bender had finished off their delivery and was busy perusing the offerings in at the space station’s local wine festival.

“Pft! “ He spat a grillful of oil onto the floor. “I wouldn’t shine my shoes with this slop!”

“Buddy,” replied the portly farmer-bot in charge of the stand, “You’re eating out of the manure trough!”

“Well..” Bender began. “It’s pretty lousy manure! I’ve had way better on Planet X-5!”

“PLANET X-Five!” The farmer promptly lost his grip upon the whimsical wheat stalk he’d held between his teeth. “Those dirty pole-Cyclopes couldn’t make a decent pile of cow plop with both their pincers tied behind their backs!”

“Well…” Bender pretended to consider. “I might change my mind…IF you give me a ton of free manure!”

The farmer rolled his eyes skyward and started piling the manure into a take-out trough while Bender snickered triumphantly. At that point, a high-pitched shriek drew Bender’s attention back toward the field. A naked Fry ran screeching toward the ship, his ‘lower horn’ carefully and nearly demurely covered by his hand; behind him and nearly outpacing him was Leela, running like a gazelle, her run that of a killer.

“BENDER SAVE ME! THE FUN THING GOT SCARY REALLY QUICKLY!” Fry cried out.

“FRY COME BACK HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A WELL-HUNG GENTLEMAN!” Leela replied, following him up the gangplank.

“S’cuse my humans,” Bender replied dryly. By the time he returned with his bargain, Leela was chasing Fry around the captain’s chair while laughing maniacally. 

They figured out much later that it was an unusual, mutant reaction to the field’s tall grass. But it was indeed a very long, very bumpy ride back for Fry.

And, as he soon discovered, manure masks make great skin grafts in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **Futurama** , all of whom are the property of **Fox TV**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
